Jeremy Glass is a former Sex & Dating writer for Thrillist and was conceived in a dark R&B club in Hartford where he was then delivered nine months later. Jeremy loves coffee, pizza, and watching Planet of the Apes in the dark. He's written articles for The New York Times, | Read More
Known to some as the practice of “dry ejaculation” or “semen retention,” a non-ejaculatory orgasm is – more or less – exactly what it sounds like: an orgasm in which the man does not release any semen. Many have come across this concept when reading about things like tantric techniques for lovemaking. What began as a centuries-old practice to generate energy by abstaining from ejaculation has slowly evolved into a healthy habit that purportedly improves fertility, sexual pleasure, mental cognition, confidence, self-esteem, and your overall wellness.
Those well-versed in the practice of semen retention will be the first to tell you how the methodology behind the dry orgasm can actually be learned relatively quickly. By practising a series of stretches and exercising patience, you can learn how to have a non-ejaculatory orgasm, and perhaps even multiple orgasms. So let’s look into this topic a little further and see what we can uncover.
What is a non-ejaculatory orgasm?
With some of the first mentions of the non-ejaculatory orgasm appearing during the 4th century CE, semen retention has been practised extensively for literally thousands of years. Some believe the act increases fertility and sexual pleasure in men, while others view it as a means to spiritual enlightenment.
Originating in India, Tibet, and China, the practice of prolonged non-ejaculatory orgasm was believed to help men retain energy while promoting alertness. Orgasm and ejaculation come down to the strength of a few essential muscles and glands. Non-ejaculatory orgasms exercise the pelvic floor. Practitioners of the craft regularly strengthen their PC muscles using Kegel exercises to essentially “hold back” semen, resulting in multiple orgasms.
After ejaculation, a man’s neurotransmitters send the body into a period of “rest and recovery” known as the refractory period. Achieving the non-ejaculatory orgasm relies on control of the PC muscles (i.e. the same muscles men use to stop the flow of urine) practised in tandem with deep-breathing and concentration a few seconds before ejaculation takes place. The practice of “edging” allows men to stop themselves before the “point of no return” in which they’d typically have an orgasm.
So, where does the semen go? In retrograde ejaculation, the semen is diverted into the bladder instead of travelling out of the penis by way of the urethra.
Understanding non-ejaculatory orgasms
- A non-ejaculatory orgasm is the result of semen retention, in which a man has a “dry orgasm.”
- Semen retention has been practised for hundreds of years.
- Instead of travelling out the urethra, semen is diverted to the bladder.
- Non-ejaculatory orgasms have been found to increase mental cognition, improve energy, reduce anxiety, and a slew of other benefits.
- Strengthening the PC muscles plays a major role in mastering non-ejaculatory orgasms.
What are the benefits of non-ejaculatory orgasm?
A practice passed down for centuries, the retention of semen is one of the core foundational tenets of Taoism. Known as “the joining of the essences,” dry orgasm brings men and their partners together for an overall spiritually significant sexual experience. For some, orgasm without ejaculation can be a sore subject in the bedroom. If you’re actively trying to have children, you obviously need to ejaculate into your partner. On the other hand, for those practising tantric sex, the dry orgasm can open up a world of possibilities. Benefits include:
Improved mood and cognitive function
Along with mastering the art of self-control and mindfulness, semen retention can help cut down on anxiety, both in and out of the bedroom. Researchers have also found that prolonged orgasm can positively impact your brain’s cognitive functions, sense of motivation, and even your memory.
Non-ejaculatory sex heats up the bedroom
Going back to its Taoist roots, tantric sex is all about spirituality and connection. Simply put, skipping over the refractory period in the bedroom allows both partners to experience a whole new level of sexual satisfaction and delight, taking your sexual activity to the next level.
Sex is turned into a ceremony
Some view sex with the same lens as they do a meal like breakfast. Non-ejaculatory intercourse taps into what Taoists first practised thousands of years ago by essentially upgrading, both, sex and intimacy into a ceremonial category. Suddenly, the 10-minute quickie is an hours-long event in which both partners are satisfied beyond belief. Knowing your own sexual limitations opens the door to, both, controlling your orgasm and separating ejaculation from pleasure.
Orgasms will start feeling better
Some say they can master the dry orgasm in a few sessions, others report working at the practice for years. One commonality is the effect on the quality of one’s orgasm. The brain releases more oxytocin, serotonin, and the growth hormone HGH, resulting in orgasms that feel better, last longer, and are easier to achieve. Those who regularly practice achieving multiple orgasms report feeling vibrations, waves of euphoria, giggling, inner peace, a gentle pulsing, and more. Some even report full body orgasm.
Types of non-ejaculatory orgasm & how to achieve them
Tantra opens the door for those who practice the ancient craft of semen retention. You and your partner are suddenly given options beyond the typical sex session, as well as a host of new feelings and experiences. How you go about choosing your route to non-ejaculatory bliss is entirely up to you and can be achieved based on practice and persistence. There are three different ways to achieve a non-ejaculatory orgasm.
Prolonged or peaking non-ejaculatory orgasm
Peaking non-ejaculatory orgasms, also referred to as edging, can take several practice sessions to master, so be patient. It’s all about understanding and controlling your sexual peak to stay highly aroused for a longer period without tipping over into climax. When climax is achieved, it’s much more intense. Controlling your orgasm involves breathing techniques and tensing muscles.
How to achieve a prolonged orgasm
Practice makes perfect. Focusing on how to turn the “arch” of sexual pleasure into a winding road of sustained feeling is yet another layer of non-ejaculatory sex. Follow these steps to achieve a prolonged orgasm:
- While masturbating, take yourself to the very edge of the point of no return. If you were to rate your sexual pleasure on a scale from one to ten – ten being orgasm – this would take you to a 9. Focus on your breath while imagining pleasure coursing through your entire body, to bring yourself as close or far away from your orgasm as you’d like. You shouldn’t be devoid of pleasure but rather aroused enough to keep going. This is your first step to semen retention.
- Allow yourself to stop. There’s no harm in taking the “hands-off” approach for a few moments to recalibrate your session. You don’t even have to get dressed – just close your eyes and breathe deeply.
- Visualize your orgasm as a force moving through your body. Pick a colour that feels right and imagine your orgasm leaving the penis and spreading like fire. Some report a feeling of tingly warmth that flows from the top of the head to the tip of the toes.
Multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms
A major benefit of semen retention is gaining the ability to bypass your refractory period. Also known as the “resolution” stage, the refractory period occurs immediately after orgasm and involves several physical responses to climax: Your blood pressure goes down, your heart rate slows, and you become less interested in sexual response. By properly diverting semen, you’re free to head into another orgasm. Your only limitation is your own body – and you have your mind to help bypass that barrier.
How to achieve multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms
Mastering the non-ejaculatory orgasm comes down to learning how your body works as well as knowing when to spot the “point of no return.” Here’s how it’s done:
- Through masturbation, foreplay, or sex, engage in the act of pleasure until the familiar “build-up” of orgasm begins. By heightening your awareness of your sexual pleasure, you not only get a better understanding of your body but pinpoint the exact way to control your climax.
- Make sure to take deep breaths as shallow breathing (or holding your breath) can actually bring on orgasm more quickly. Breathing deeply, flex your pelvic floor muscles (i.e. the muscles you use to stop the flow of urine) and stop yourself from teetering over the line. Concentrate on only these muscles while simultaneously relaxing your head, face, arms, legs, buttocks, and anywhere there’s tension. Shallow breathing speeds up orgasm, whereas the benefits of deep breathing are many. Combining mindful breathing with strong pelvic floor muscles help you regain control over your orgasm by stopping it with a physical response.
- As an added layer of “protection” against accidental orgasm, try pressing on the perineum (located between the anus and the scrotum) until the feeling of “no return” begins to subside. Applying pressure to the perineum helps divert sperm in another direction, effectively resetting the point of no return.
Non-ejaculatory prostate orgasms
To master the prostate orgasm, the prostate gland must be stimulated. A prostate-centric orgasm isn’t always non-ejaculatory, but it involves very similar techniques to spread pleasure throughout the body. By combining deep breathing techniques, mindfulness, and patience with the manipulation of the prostate, a prolonged orgasm can be achieved. And most report it’s far more intense and pleasurable than a penile orgasm.
How to achieve a non-ejaculatory prostate orgasm
Non-ejaculatory prostate orgasms are another exciting aspect of tantric sex that can provide waves of pleasure throughout the body, not least health benefits. Here are some tips on how to achieve one:
- Stimulate the prostate using fingers or a prostate massager, building yourself up to a state of high arousal. Make sure you really connect with the sensations you’re feeling in your body. Get into a steady, deep rhythmic pattern.
- When you can feel your arousal building to a climax, refocus your attention on deep, regular breathing. Inhale deeply through your nose, feeling your breath move through your head down to your chest. Luxuriate in the pleasurable sensations.
- When you’re at the point of climax, continue to breathe deeply, contract your pelvic floor muscles and try to relax the muscles in the rest of your body. If it feels good to, release tension in your body by making noise as you exhale.
How To Use Non-Ejaculatory Orgasm To Have Multiple Orgasms
Those who’ve mastered the art of multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms suggest spending 20+ minutes each day practising edging. Once you’re close to climax, squeeze your PC muscles hard and focus on the building pleasure. At this point, you may feel your penis twitch and move as an orgasm-like feeling slowly spreads.
Once this feeling subsides, try to achieve orgasm again. Whether that happens with your hand, with your partner, or with a toy, you should be able to practice the exact same amount of focus and discipline that took you so close to orgasm before. Repeat to your heart’s content and enjoy deeper, more intense orgasms that can last up to several minutes.
Explore Tantric Sex Practices Further With Karma Tantric
For those of you interested in some physical guidance in learning how to explore non ejaculatory orgasms, help is at hand (pun intended). London tantric massage agency, Karma Tantric, specialise in arranging exceptional erotic massage sessions for their clients. Put yourself in the capable arms of a professional and arrange a tantric massage session in London to learn more about how NEO can change your life.