I often receive emails from readers who are interested in trying prostate massage but are perhaps a little apprehensive or unsure about what it is and how to do it. Many people are unaware of the amazing benefits of this massage, so to answer all your questions we’ve put together an ultimate prostate massage guide which nicely illustrates exactly what a prostate is, where to find it, what the health benefits are and how to produce some of the most mind blowing orgasms.
What is the prostate?
It’s a gland (roughly the size of a walnut) responsible for producing prostatic fluid, which makes up part of the semen. During orgasm the prostate plays a role in forcefully propelling ejaculation through the urethra.
What is prostate massage therapy?
Simply put, it’s the act of massaging the prostate for reasons ranging from medical benefits to sexual health to pure pleasure.
What are the benefits of prostate massage?
- Benefit #1, prostate massage can work like an oil change for the ejaculatory system.
- Benefit #2, more powerful orgasms.
- Benefit #3, increased blood flow and health benefits, including possible treatment of prostatitis.
What does a prostate orgasm feel like?
People often describe an orgasm from penis stimulation as more genitally focused while an orgasm including prostate stimulation can be a more full body experience. This is very similar to how women describe the difference between a clitoral and g-spot orgasm.
How do you prepare for prostate massage?
Prepare for prostate massage similar to any other sexual activity. Attend to basic hygiene and have all your supplies, like lube and toys, within easy reach.
Here’s how to prepare if you’re the one receiving the prostate massage:
While people are often very concerned about cleanliness before any anal play, getting ready to receive prostate massage (on your own or with a partner) is very simple. There’s no need for an enema or other invasive cleaning. In fact, you’re better off avoiding these methods. The nozzle of an enema can irritate sensitive tissues and an enema can also upset the intestines, leaving you feeling less than sexy.
Instead, simply take a shower as you normally would, paying extra attention to the external anal area. Use a gentle, body friendly soap and your bare hand to make sure this area is clean. If you want to go the extra mile, you can insert your index finger just up to the first knuckle into the anus for a little swirl, to make sure things are pristine.
Minding hygiene isn’t just for the obvious reasons, but if you can be secure in the feeling that your body is prepared, it’s easier to relax. And relaxation is key when receiving prostate massage.
To help you relax, make sure you set the mood in your space. Dim the lights and remove possible distractions, like your phone. Maybe even light a scented candle or two.
Try some mindfulness or breathing techniques that will help center you in your body. We carry a lot of tension around all day, and a surprising amount of it settles in our pelvic floor, and in the muscles around the sphincter that will need to be relaxed in order to receive penetration.
Here’s how to prepare if you’re the one giving the prostate massage:
Setting the tone is just as important as the physical touch. People receiving prostate massage, especially for the first time, are going to be nervous. The best thing you can do is to speak calmly and with confidence, so the other person feels good about being in your hands — literally.
While the other person will have done their best to prepare, playing with butts can sometimes mean dealing with a small mess. Be ready with some wet wipes as well as laying down a dark towel on the bed or table where the massage will take place.
Gloves are a great idea for prostate massage. Not only do they help with clean up, but they help smooth the edges of fingernails. With the tissue of the rectum being so sensitive, having only smooth surfaces come in contact with them is a big help. If you’ve got long fingernails you can even pad the tips of the gloves with a little bit of cotton.
How do you massage your own prostate?
While it might feel awkward your first time, it’s an easy skill to learn. And it’s helpful to become familiar with your own body before having your prostate massaged by a partner, because you’ll be better able to communicate what works for you.
Throw down a towel and get comfortable on your bed. While a number of positions are possible, laying on your back with your knees bent is a good way to start.
Get used to exploring your anal area
Either with clean hands and trimmed nails, or wearing gloves, begin to explore your body. Be sure to use LOTS of lube for anal exploration. Take your time with external massage, there are a lot of nerve endings here and going slow will help with relaxation and arousal. Pressing on the perineum (the area between your testicles and anus) can provide some prostate stimulation from the outside of your body.
Start with penetration — slowly
Just tip your index finger into your anus and pause. Let your body get used to the sensation and let your sphincter relax around the stretch. If there’s any pain with penetration back off and go even slower, or add more lube.
Looking for your prostate
You’ll probably need to insert your index finger most of the way, as the prostate tends to be 2-3 inches along the inside of the rectum. All bodies are different so you’ll need to find what’s true for you. The prostate is on the anterior side of your body, meaning up towards your belly. You may feel a walnut sized bump pressing back against your finger, or may simply experience it as a more pleasurable area. It’s important to note that not everyone’s prostate is noticeable when not aroused.
Discover what feels good for you
Begin by simply pressing against the prostate gently and seeing how it feels. Experiment with circular strokes and different levels of pressure.
Combine prostate massage with penile stimulation
While it is possible to have an orgasm from prostate massage alone, this may take some practice. For now, try combining prostate massage with whatever ways you usually touch yourself. At the time of orgasm you’ll feel your prostate swell and contract, and if you’re providing additional pressure at the same time it’s likely to cause a more intense orgasm.
How do you perform a prostate massage on someone else?
While the steps are largely similar to those above, you’ve got different angles to work with and will need to focus on communication.
- Step one, have your partner lay on a towel while you glove up. Find a good position for both of you. Having your partner on their back with knees up while you sit between their legs is a good way to start.
- Step two, begin with slow touch. Stroke the thighs and stomach to help your partner relax. If you’re going to be providing penis stimulation at the same time, start with that. Arousal will help both penetration and prostate stimulation feel even better.
- Step three, ask if your partner is ready for penetration. If so, get your fingers and their anal area well lubricated. Begin with just the tip of one finger, and once you’re in up to the first knuckle, pause and check in. If they’re ready for more, insert your finger another inch and pause again. Each time you pause, you’re giving their body time to get used to what’s happening. If there’s any pain, slow down or back up to the previous step.
- Step four, find the prostate. Once you have one or two fingers inserted into the rectum 2-3 inches deep, you can begin to look for the prostate. Gently press upwards towards the anterior wall until you feel something the size of a walnut or until your partner lets you know you’re in the right spot. It should be pleasurable for them.
- Step five, begin massage. You may have heard this described as the “come hither” motion with the fingers, but that’s usually too aggressive. Start with very small moments, both upward pressure and small circles, and see what works. You’re going to need to check in with your partner each time you try something to see how it feels for them. Be ready to ask questions like “harder or softer?” to fine tune what works.
- If you’re aiming for an orgasm, you’ll likely want to combine both penis and prostate stimulation. As arousal increases you may be able to use additional pressure on the prostate.
What about prostate massagers?
Using a toy to reach the prostate can be a great help, especially when exploring your own body, as they provide additional reach and leverage.
Find a toy specifically designed for prostate massage. You’re looking for something that is on the smaller side and has a curve that will fit the shape of your body. The toy should also be very smooth and have some kind flared base so it can’t get lost in your body. A toy that can be used hands free is also a nice option.
Toys are also a great option for exploring prostate play with a partner who is a little nervous about the idea. You can insert the toy yourself and they can play with it, or you can leave it in hands-free for extra stimulation during sex.
Where can you get a prostate massage?
Sometimes the best place to start is by bringing in a professional. There’s a lot to know when it comes to anatomy and touch techniques, so why not work with someone who has specialized training? If you’re in the London area, check out Karma Tantric here.
We’ve put together an infographic below to help you understand prostate massage and to guide you through this truly amazing experience. Please share this infographic if you love it!
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Prostate Massage Guide – Infographic Text
The male G-Spot is located in the prostate gland and in tantric philosophy, is considered to be the man’s emotional sex centre. Massaging the prostate, also called prostate milking has several health benefits and the sensation can lead to the most pleasurable climax a man can have.
A walnut-sized gland that is part of the male reproductive system.
It helps produce and carry sperm from the testicles.
Situated 2-3 inches into the back passage. You will know it when you feel it.
Did you know?
In a recent survey, 70% of straight men said they would consider an erotic prostate massage.
Demystifying Prostate Massage
Myth: It is only for gay men.
The truth: Absolutely not. All men enjoy prostate massage with over 70% of straight men confessing to trying or considering one.
Myth: Prostate orgasms aren’t as good as penile orgasms.
The truth: Surveys have demonstrated that a prostate orgasm is around 33% stronger than penile orgasms.
Myth: Female partners do not want to do it.
The truth: Rubbish. 80% of women would give their partner a prostate massage.
Did you know?
The female equivalent to the male prostate is the Skene’s gland or the female prostate and also expels fluid during orgasm, responsible for the “female ejaculation”.
4 Benefits of Prostate Massage
Reduces risk of prostate cancer
Medical research has demonstrated that regular ejaculation and sexual activity reduces the risk of prostate cancer.
Prevents bladder infections
Prostate massage helps to improve urine and blood flow to the pelvic region, increasing the amount of oxygen and nutrients to the prostate.
By stimulating the prostate region, the prostatic duct can be cleared and blood flow is increased to help achieve erection.
More intense orgasms
Surveys have demonstrated a 33% increase in orgasm size and strength.
Did you know?
The prostate is responsible for the production of semen and helps carry the sperm.
How to give a mind blowing prostate massage
Bathe or shower together then start with some foreplay or an erotic massage
Prevent uncomfortable friction and use lots of lube on your fingers or toys
Insert finger and curl upwards about 2 -3 inches and find a firm and spongy surface the size of a walnut
At first the feeling may be similar to needing a pee but relax and it will start to feel pleasurable
Massage not thrust
Massage it in a “come her” motion, gently stroking until orgasm. Do not thrust.
Did you know?
London based erotic massage agency Karma Tantric offers a range of specialist prostate massages for men, women and couples conducted by professionally trained tantric masseuses.Click here to book your prostate massage now!