Erica is the Editor of Karma Tantric Magazine and expert in all things Tantra & Tantric Massage. She specialises in helping men, women and couples unleash their sexual potential through her tantra teachings. | Read More
Read This Before You Go To An Erotic Massage Parlour In London
Hello again, readers. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Erica Suarez-Hillingdon. I am the editor here at Karma Tantric, a massage agency based in London. Even though Karma Tantric is not an erotic massage parlour, I have received many emails from my readers detailing shocking accounts of their previous experiences with erotic massage parlours in London. As a result, I have decided to investigate massage parlours specifically, to unearth the real truth about what you need to watch out for when looking to get an erotic massage
Particularly, for those of you who have contacted us to ask ‘what is the difference is between an erotic massage parlour and a massage agency’ such as Karma Tantric, I have included a comparison table for you to consider. (If you would like to jump my article and look straight at the facts, click to jump to the comparison table.)
So, without further delay, let’s find out the real facts and compare these happy ending parlours to the premier experience you would receive at Karma Tantric…
Dirty Substandard Massage Parlour Rooms
Most massage parlours in London have zero concern about the standard of the massage rooms they provide. The aim of their game is to turn over as many clients as possible while spending nothing on cleaning or facilities. To add to this, one room is used by many masseuses, so the number of clients occupying one massage room in a day can be in the double figures. That often means you will usually find yourself in a badly decorated, unclean massage room, increasing your risk of contracting skin irritations, or even worse, other sexually transmitted diseases. Ew!
What could be worse than finding yourself on a wobbly massage table that is only covered in a thin sheet of recycled paper, looking through the hole at dirt, dust and other uncertainties on the unclean floor? No thanks! In fact, a survey conducted by Karma Tantric uncovered that a shocking 91% of clients who were once massage parlour regulars, said they would never return, based purely on cleanliness and hygiene-related issues.
Badly Maintained Parlour Facilities
Most erotic massage parlours in London are cheaply put together internally, meaning that the only thing between you and another client in the massage room next door, is a thin partition wall. This means your massage may be disrupted by the sound of customers in other rooms. Not exactly the spa-like setting you were expecting, right?
Consider your massage therapist is kind enough to offer you a shower (assuming the parlour actually has shower facilities). To your dismay, you are offered a discoloured, frayed towel and ushered into a badly lit, mouldy shower area. The pipes are exposed and the smell of damp is all you can think of while your feet step into a puddle of murky, cold water from the previous person’s shower. This is the sad reality that many of my readers have encountered on their visits to these sensual massage parlours.
You May Be Seen
If discretion is a concern, then visiting a massage parlour in Central London may not be the best choice for you. High traffic footfall means that many customers will be arriving and leaving throughout the day so you may be exposed to other clients face to face. Many parlours can also have waiting areas which can be very indiscreet and uncomfortable.
In an article by the Telegraph, one married mother managed to track her husband to a massage parlour based on his Uber receipts. She looked the address up and was easily able to see it was a suspicious massage parlour. As you can imagine, the situation was not ideal.
Don’t Get Caught Up In Legal Issues!
It is not uncommon for massage establishments with multiple masseuses to be on the wrong side of the law and get raided by the police. This is because if more than one masseuse is working at one location, it can be classed as a brothel in the eyes of the law. Add to that, the potential for money laundering or tax evasion and you have yourself a problem just waiting to happen.
The police are often unhappy with London massage parlours and they are pressured by the local community to have them raided. The Evening Standard reported that residents in London’s Kensington & Chelsea area have been complaining to the local council to do just that. As you can imagine, local shops and those living nearby may be affected by the negative impact of such a business on the area.
Unsuitable Parlour Masseuses
Due to the huge influence of Asian massage parlours in London and their habits of bringing ladies from abroad to London for massage work, they usually do not speak very good English and may not be legal UK workers. Worse still, they could be forced or unwilling participants in the massage. This is not something you really want to be involved with.
Another issue is that many massage parlours in the UK are actually employing escorts, not masseuses. This means that the massage is not only poor quality, but the ladies push for sexual escorting services and are focused on performing sex acts. If a happy ending massage is what you are looking for, then these ladies will certainly push you to do more and may not be willing to provide the relaxing experience you hoped for.
Poor Massage Quality
It probably doesn’t come as a huge surprise to learn that the masseuses who work at London massage parlours are not always trained in the correct practices for massage. Even though these type of massages are sensual, that doesn’t mean the masseuses should not have an understanding of the human anatomy and most do not.
Some say that parlours are mostly about a quick ‘rub and tug’ so if you are looking for a basic massage with a connectionless happy ending attached at the end then maybe a parlour is for you. It is certainly a more mechanical offering than visiting a correctly skilled tantric masseuse.
Massage Parlours vs Massage Agencies vs Independent Tantric Masseuses
As a helpful quick reference, I have included a comparison table below to show the main differences described above. In addition, I have added a column regarding masseuses offering independent tantric massage in London, for extra insight.
|Erotic Massage Parlours||Independent Erotic Masseuses||
Karma Tantric Massage Agency
|The Massage Locations|
|Clean Massage Areas||unlikely||unlikely||always|
|Hot Towel Cabinets||unlikely||unlikely||always|
|Fresh Clean Towels||unlikely||unlikely||always|
|Candlelight & Music||unlikely||unlikely||always|
|Warm Hypoalergenic Oils||unlikely||unlikely||always|
|Modern Clean Bathroom||unlikely||unlikely||always|
|Privacy & Security|
|1 Masseuse Per Location||never||unlikely||always|
|100% Legal Practice||never||unlikely||always|
|Safe From Police Raids||never||unlikely||always|
|Fluent English Speakers||unlikely||unlikely||always|
|Legal UK Workers||unlikely||unlikely||always|
|100% Academy Trained||never||never||always|
|Tantric Focused Masseuses (not escorts)||unlikely||unlikely||always|
|Positive Friendly Attitude||unlikely||unlikely||always|
|Exclusive To Karmatantric||never||never||always|
So there you have it, the real truth about erotic massage parlours and what the risks are. I sincerely hope this article will help you avoid the pitfalls of these shady parlours and give you some insight into what to consider before visiting a massage parlour in London. Thank you to all who contributed their experiences and concerns to help me get the truth out. If you would like to book an erotic massage in London with a highly skilled Karma Tantric masseuse, please do get in touch. We would love to arrange this for you.
Thanks for the insightful article Erica, there is so much about visiting a massage parlour that I had not considered before. I shall certainly have a think about the things you mentioned. Appreciate the insight!
It’s my pleasure Gerry. I want to raise awareness on the truth regarding the elements of our industry that most would rather avoid. After all, it’s information like this that will help you from getting into a sticky situation at a massage parlour. Have a great day and we hope to hear from you soon. E x