Maya Khamala is a Montreal-based poet, (copy)writer, editor, and fire-starter interested in all things erotic. Get in touch or learn more about her services at khamalacopy.com. | Read More
Although many of us have heard of the yoni—the ancient Sanskrit term for vagina, far fewer have heard of the lingam, which translates to “wand of light” and refers to the penis. While there is nothing wrong with giving your man an incredible hand job, lingam massage holds other meaning: it’s about increasing intimacy without necessarily overflowing into orgasm, and can be an unprecedented way of showing your appreciation, connecting more deeply, and heating things up in the bedroom.
What is lingam massage therapy?
A form of tantric massage first created in 1970s Germany, lingam massage by definition is a sensual type of penis massage or cock worship designed to promote wellbeing, deep relaxation, and the release of stresses associated with intimacy or sex. Its purpose is to clear energy blockages, facilitate healing, and enhance pleasure.
Setting The Scene
When gifting your man with a lingam massage be sure to set the scene just right: create a calm, serene environment which makes it easy to relax fully into this new experience. There are several tips you should consider when preparing to give a loving lingam massage.
Music can have a powerful effect on ambiance. There is no one right choice, however there are several avenues to consider: you might opt for background music that is gentle and soothing, eastern melodies, or new age tunes. Or, you might choose sexy music that’s unique to your couple.
Never underestimate the power of lighting. There’s a reason many spas, meditation centres and yoga classes choose soft, warm light. Harsh light is not typically relaxing or arousing and can actually work to agitate the spirit. Try draping a sheer scarf over a lamp, or lighting candles.
Your man’s senses will be on high alert during the lingam massage. You might opt to light scented candles, burn incense, dab your favourite essential oil on your sheets, or place a vase of flowers in the room. Equally, your personal scent can be a wonderful way to enchant his senses—whether in the form of an oil, a spritz, or perfume you both find pleasing.
When setting the scene for your lingam massage therapy experience, pay attention to the smallest details. From the texture of the bedding and the plushness of the pillows to the temperature in the room, anything can affect the mood. Don’t forget to ensure you have several hours of privacy too. Remember: you need to be just as comfortable while giving as he is receiving.
Massage products are largely a matter of preference. You might choose a massage candle, an oil-based massage cream, or coconut oil. Many silicone-based lubes can also double as massage oil. Regardless of what product you choose, be sure to do a spot test first (on both of you). Also: have enough towels handy to avoid stains on your sheets.
How To Give A Lingam Massage
When it comes to learning how to do a lingam massage, it’s typically best to focus more on connecting and following your intuition than getting bogged down in specific lingam techniques. For instance, if he likes to have his testicles touched, integrate that. The following is a lingam massage tutorial, however there is no special order for trying these techniques.
Relax, Breathe, Connect
Sit in front of one other holding hands. You might add breathwork — a basic technique used in tantric sex—by engaging in deep, synchronised breaths that fill the lungs. Breathing together is a powerful way to connect and keep your energies in tune. You might share intentions as giver and receiver. Then, both of you might remove your clothes—one piece at a time, voicing what you’re stripping away with each item (i.e. shame, fear, judgement). You might also choose to remain scantily clad or wearing an item of special significance.
You might choose to kneel between your lover’s open legs as he sits facing you. Or, if it’s more comfortable, sit next to him on a bed or a sofa. Always feel free to flow from one position to another during the massage, as your comfort is essential. If you have trouble relaxing or feeling good in your body, he’s bound to feel it too.
Have him lay on his stomach, and massage your way up his body, from his feet up to his neck. Keep breathing in tandem throughout if you wish. Then, have him turn onto his back, and start from the bottom up again, skipping the lingam. Once he’s relaxed, hold his penis firmly, and place your other hand on his heart. Imagine you are connecting them. Then, apply your chosen massage oil and begin—much as if you were worshipping a sacred wand of light.
Gently press his penis with your thumbs and index fingers, and then release. Move up about a centimetre and repeat. Keep going until you’ve worked your way up the entire length of his lingam. Note that it’s not significant how erect he is. Flaccid penises can be even more sensitive, so don’t focus on this.
Hold the sides of his lingam with both hands and then enact a ‘skiing’ motion with both of your thumbs by alternating their movements up and down his penis from the root to the tip. Feel free to experiment with different speeds and pressure levels, always remaining alert to his responses.
This stroke can provide your lover with some very unique and stimulating sensations. Encircle his lingam firmly with both hands and then proceed to turn them gently in opposite directions, making sure not to squeeze too hard of course.
This stroke is perfect for slowing down and moving inward for a meditative moment. The frenulum is located just beneath the head of the penis — close to where it meets the shaft. Circle this zone gently in both directions with the tips of your thumb and index finger.
Crossed Prayer Stroke
Worship your lover with this stroke by interlacing your fingers as you would to pray and ensconcing his penis in the safe haven you’ve created between your hands. Then, open your thumbs and slide them up and down along each side of his lingam at varying speeds.
Orgasm Without Ejaculation
If your man chooses to orgasm (it’s always his choice), you might help him achieve an orgasm without ejaculation—a technique which, over time, can help him to improve his sexual control. During climax, either press firmly on his sacred spot, or wrap your fingers around the base of his scrotum pulling firmly downward. These methods take practice, but practice is powerful!
Benefits Of Lingam Massage
The key goal of a lingam massage is for a man to embrace and accept his lingam as a part of his whole being, which in turn helps him to become a more tender, self-aware, empathetic, and sensual lover with the ability to experience sex with his entire body and heart—rather than just his penis. Common benefits of lingam massage include the following:
Enhanced Ejaculation Control
Many men experience sexual dysfunctions such as premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. Lingam massage can help men to better control their bodies, the flow of their sexual energy, and their libido, while enhancing stamina. Over time, he can even learn to become a multi-orgasmic lover—without ejaculating!
Intense Sexual Pleasure
As his body becomes accustomed to newfound ways of directing his sexual energy, his body’s sensitivity is likely to become enhanced. This does not mean he’ll climax faster—it simply means he will feel more, and more deeply.
Relief of Mental, Emotional and Physical Ailments
Anxiety, depression, sexual dysfunction, and health issues are rampant. Many of these can be attributed to emotional blockages and past traumas. Lingam massage can help to redirect, round up, and release these tensions and kinks, allowing for an overall cleaner energy flow.
Another main focus of lingam massage is to help increase intimacy. Since a lingam massage is all about being in sync, trusting one’s partner, and allowing oneself to be vulnerable in their presence, it is common for partners to feel more meaningfully connected on an emotional level.
Consider Using A Lingam Massage Specialist
Lingam massage can be an incredible way of exploring new sensual and emotional territory, enhancing pleasure, and boosting intimacy. If you’re interested in receiving a lingam massage but do not have a partner to practice with, consider hiring a trained specialist. Where can you get a lingam massage? Check out Karma Tantric’s lingam massage services for a breathtaking professional introduction to the experience!