Jade Lotus is a certified Tantric Journey Educator and Teacher of Taoist Sexual Alchemy. She coaches, teaches and offers Tantric Massage and Sexual Alchemy Bodywork sessions in London and Portugal. | Read More
If you are new to this topic, a tantric massage is an ancient technique used to activate sensual energy and healing. It is now very popular in today’s liberal world as it works with sexual energy and can produce orgasmic results.That’s why it’s no surprise many of you would love to learn how to perform Tantric massage and delight your beloved partner with a sensual treat. For those of you who would like to learn how to give a tantric massage, this article aims to explain just that.
So are you ready to learn how to do tantric massage? Here are my step by step tantric massage techniques and tips for both him and her.
The first thing you should know before attempting to give a tantric massage is that you as the giver should feel calm and grounded. This is a very powerful energy to evoke and this peaceful, connected attitude should not be overlooked before you start. To achieve this, try spending ten minutes sitting calmly, observing your breath and relaxing in a type of meditation state. Compose yourself and feel at one with everything around you.
Setting the Scene
Prepare the massage space by considering the senses with regards to sight, sound and smell. Try burning incense or using an oil diffuser to create a nice aromatherapy type smell. Burn natural candles to create an ambiance along with suitable music to set the scene. When you invite your partner in to the space, they should feel like a god or goddess ready to receive the ultimate pampering ritual.
Prepare the bed by covering it with a few large towels as when you are using oil and performing this type of massage for the first time, it may get a little messy. You should also consider your partner’s comfort and place pillows as necessary on the bed.
Starting with Tantric Rituals
Invite your partner into the space, calmly and gently, connecting with their eyes and holding their hands. Lead them to the bed and invite them to sit down.
- Sit down so that you are facing each other, making sure to hold your partner’s gaze and focus on feeling deeply connected with them.
- Your heart needs to be really open and full of love to get the energy right, you can do this by putting some attention into your heart (where the attention goes, the energy flows) and smiling to your heart to turn the energy into love.
- Instruct them to breathe slowly and deeply and synchronise your breathing together.
- As you sit opposite each other, energy will naturally start to flow between you.
Starting the Massage
To start the massage, lie the receiver face down on the bed. Place your left hand over their sacrum (the area between the small of the back and the start of the buttocks) and the right hand over the back of their hearts and breathe to feel the energy flow and relax.
Then begin to rock their body by alternately pressing with your hands in a natural and gentle rhythm for a few minutes. If you relax, breathe and allow it, the energy will flow from your left hand to your right hand and into your body, connecting their sacral chakra with their heart chakra.
Then, preferably using warm oil, start massaging the back of the body. Spend about half an hour, paying special to the sacrum and spine, because the energy comes from the sacrum and goes all the way up the spine to the head. This is the same kundalini energy that is accessed and activated through tantric techniques and yoga. Massage every part of the body including the feet and especially the fingers and toes as this is where the energy channels begin.
Start in the back and middle of the body, spreading the energy out to the limbs and then bringing it back in, ending up at the sacrum and massaging around and up the spine. As you are touching you can imagine spreading the energy around the receiver and that is exactly what will happen. By visualising this energy spread you will start to actualise it.
When you are finished, invite them gently to turn over onto their back. You can then massage their head and body, moving down from head to toe, gathering and moving the energy down to the sexual pelvic area.
How to Give a Man a Tantric Massage (Lingam)
- Start by massaging around the groin and the testicles, waking up the kundalini energy that lives in the perineum. This area is full of Tantric massage pressure points, so slowly but firmly massage over the whole area.
- Move the energy up to the area around the pubic bone and the base of the lingham. Move slowly and gently, holding his eye contact. If he drifts into a trance, keep looking up to check how he is doing.
- Using plenty of oil, start to gently stroke the lingham. Again, feeling the connection with the energy, you are slowly coaxing the energy up to the head. Don’t be tempted to go fast or firmly, the trick here is very gentle slow touch.
- Massage lightly around the head of the lingham. This area is connected to his Heart, and you can place one hand over his Heart to help the energy flow. Be mindful to feel how he reacts and adjust your touch and pressure based on his sensitivity in that area.
- The aim of tantric massage is not always for the man to ejaculate, it’s for the energy to flow up the body so that he has a full body orgasm. So, when he comes close, push the energy up his body and into his Heart with your hands. It might take a bit of practice but when he feels it, he will be in heaven and his whole body will vibrate: he will have a full body orgasm. For men, this is the secret tantric massage technique that makes a tantric massage truly “tantric”.
How to Give a Woman a Tantric Massage (Yoni)
- Slowly stroke her body, bringing the energy down to her thighs.
- Use oil to massage her groin area and around her yoni. Be very gentle and slow, this is the key. Spend time around the area, not going straight to her yoni, breathing slow and deep and building up the energy.
- Watching her response, when you feel she is ready for the yoni massage, (observing her breathing and response) ask her is she wants it. If she says yes you can gently and slowly start to massage around her labia.
- Go very slowly and very gently and avoid directly touching the clitoris. My favourite technique here is to slowly sweep up and down between her inner and outer labia with my index finger. This stimulates the clitoris gently and is very sensual. There is a little bundle of nerves just to the left of her clitoris, and touching this very gently for a few minutes is incredible.
- Now you can ask her if her yoni is ready to be entered. If she gives you permission, slowly move your fingers to the entrance of her yoni.
- Massage gently and very slowly into the walls of her yoni, smoothing out any lumps and bumps or hard spots and softening the muscles.
- Find her cervix and gently massage around it. Stroking the head of the cervix is a magical way to awaken and send energy.
- Find her g-spot. If you put your finger inside and point up and make a beckoning move, you will feel something that feels like the roof of your mouth.
- When you finish, run your hands up and down her body again. Finish by placing one hand over her heart and one over her sexual chakra while gently gazing into her eyes.
So now you know how to give a tantric massage! The key to giving these massages is to be slow and perform mindful touches. Remember that the session is purely about you giving and your partner receiving.
Healing Qualities of Tantric Massage
- Tantric Massage can help men learn to last longer in bed and heal premature ejaculation.
- Tantric massage can help women to achieve better orgasms and cure anorgasmia.
- Tantric massage can bring the mojo back into a stale relationship.